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that sounds even more important.

i don't mind what you're doing for work if you don't.

mm… but it’s not something I could teach anyone.

I like what I do. I’m good at it.

ok. i was only curious.

dae… I’ll make it up to you soon…

make what up?

I know… I hurt you when you came in my art room.

there is nothing to make up to me. you wouldn't have hurt me on purpose.

And I know you wouldn’t hurt me on purpose either. I’m still going to make up for it with a little more time. I haven’t really been going there lately.

why not?

Just because…

[ He hasn’t felt like doing art since their fight that day. ]

i can pose nude for you if you need inspiration. i've read that some artists do that.

it’s… more because all I can remember is it hurting you and being hurt… and… I don’t know.

i see.

can you do something with the pain?

mm. I could, probably.

i did it once. i hurt so bad that i made something out of it. something new.

Really?

yes. when she died. i made myself into something else, so that it would never happen again.

it might not be the same. i do not know.

when I make art… it’s like putting me, the most raw version of me… it’s part of why it’s hard to share. It’s pain, happiness, love, memories…. It’s hope. I… trust you but sometimes some feelings I’m not ready to be seen.

Since… that… I feel guilty and like it’ll hurt you if I make anything else that I’m not ready to share. So I haven’t made anything with it or with anything else.

mm

maybe i don't want to see anymore! maybe i don't even like art and i'm not curious at all.

then it would be ok, right?

but I know that’s not true. And I want you to be interested! I just also want you to be patient with me and try to understand.

i can try. i can promise you that much.

I’m trying too. I promise I’ll be better for you.

it's ok to fail.

Not if it hurts you.

but it is. i know how hard you're trying.

(no subject)

privatechat - 2022-07-08 21:41 (UTC) - Expand