[ Lennon shakes his head immediately and lifts up so he can look at Daeshim. His fingertips press against the mark on the other's neck, chewing on his own lip anxiously. ]
I only meant it for you. And... I'll never want or need anyone the way I do you... never. You're mine. You're all mine.
[a couple of days ago and daeshim might've agreed, because he would never hurt him. but the jealousy of this strange rut. the aggression and sheer strength of it...he's a little afraid now.]
No. There must be things that you would not allow anyone to do.
[he remembers what jasper told him. and he remembers his own determination to help lennon stay safe, even from himself.]
[is he sick of hearing that yet? though lately they've learned how to better...well, not necessarily understand either other, but accept each other even when they don't.]
You don't know the answer to that. And there is more than one way to harm.
[he covered their room in thorns. the fae might be bothered by the thought of it now, but he obviously thought it was a fine idea at the time. (and just maybe he still isn't as bothered by it as he should be.)]
You are the person who is precious to me. You must treat yourself kinder.
[ Lennon makes a frustrated noise. Something about this whole thing reeks of Jasper but he doesn't say his name. This is their bed after all. He pulls himself away from Daeshim as much as it bothers him not to be pressed up close in his arms. ]
I do my best. Is that not good enough...?
[ Lennon swallows hard, his fangs biting into his bottom lip but he doesn't care. He feels fragile and he wants to be angry but he can't seem to muster anger up. ]
I'm not lying or unaware of what I say when I say I want all of you, Daeshim...
[it's something of a dirty trick that lennon plays, even if he didn't mean to play it. but daeshim is still a fae - games and dirty tricks are right in their wheelhouse. he blinks when lennon pulls away, but he's otherwise calm, concern layered on top of his usual blank default expression.
he sits up, kneeling in front of the human and then reaching his hand out to cup his cheek.]
Tell me again. [his voice is quiet.] Tell me again that you're doing your best to take care of this person that I love. Tell me that you're not doing anything to him that would break my heart.
[whatever heart he has. maybe that's like souls, something reserved for humans. but daeshim knows that there's something in his chest, and it's been made even stronger here, with him.]
Say it and I'll believe you, and we'll never speak of it again.
[ Lennon swallows heavily as the other kneels, looking at him before looking down as the other cups his cheeks. He takes in the words and he feels something cracking in him but he desperately tries to hold it all together.
His lips tremble and he knows that he can answer without lying but that it's not really as clear cut as it looks. ]
I'm doing my best, Daeshim. I promise I'm doing my best.
[daeshim looks at him for a long moment, at each feature individually and then all together. the red-rimmed eyes, his trembling lips. it's really not a picture that should put him at ease.
but he made a deal, so daeshim finally smiles at him.]
[ Something loosens in his chest. He turns his head and presses his lip to the other's hand, eyes closing. He knows that he's not perfect, that he's failing in so many ways, ways that probably would worry and upset Daeshim but
[his kind have a complicated relationship with those words, to say the least. daeshim has learned how to deal with it, he just doesn't understand why he should deserve lennon's gratitude in the first place.]
[ Lennon says, swallowing heavily and he still feels off-kilter and in the back of his mind he still remembers he needs to go feed Baein but more than anything he needs Daeshim right this moment. He nods and lays down, ready to be held close and enveloped with Daeshim again. ]
[he doesn't completely understand, but he also doesn't need to. it's enough to know that lennon needed something from him and he was able to give it. he combs his fingers through his hair, knowing from experience how nice that always feels.]
[ Lennon shivers a little at the way the other's fingers move through his hair and he presses close, wrapping an arm tight around him and one of his legs thrown over him as he positions himself as close as humanly possible. ]
Good.
[ Lennon murmurs and it means a lot to him -- to be trusted. To be loved, to be trusted... things he didn't think he was worthy of and things he never thought he would have. ]
[ Lennon will do his best with that too. Asking and accepting help
is still hard for him but if he could with anyone it would be Daeshim.
There’s a harsh swallow at the return of those words and he wonders
if it’s really true. Daeshim thinks it’s true but what if… he doesn’t dwell
on it, his insecurities shoved to the back of his mind as the giggle
relaxes him. ]
And they were almost not enough to pull you back into bed with me!
[he let his head be filled with...ugly thoughts, insidious enough that the entered his words and actions. He made Lennon cry... daeshim whimpers when he remembers it, and tries to curl his body around him.]
[ Lennon says firmly and presses closer, stealing kisses then and he
reaches to pull one of the others hands to touch his bare thighs, still
wearing those short shirts. ]
[it's strange how seeing lennon's legs in those shorts is almost more arousing than seeing him completely naked. ...but let's be honest, he hasn't needed much help getting aroused for a couple of days.
he keeps touching his leg, then touching the hem of the shorts, finally sliding his hand under one leg to find more skin.]
[ Lennon smirks a little as the other touches him. His lips slowly part though as the hand moves up, over tender skin, some already bruised but Lennon doesn't mind. He lets shifts to open himself up more to Daeshim's explorations.
He kisses him again, tongue brushing out against Daeshim's lips teasing him to deepen the kiss this time. ]
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I only meant it for you. And... I'll never want or need anyone the way I do you... never. You're mine. You're all mine.
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Mm.
[he smiles a little, pleased. but then he remembers something.]
What you said, you cannot say, even to me. You can't let anyone just do whatever they want to you.
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But I mean it... With you it's okay.
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No. There must be things that you would not allow anyone to do.
[he remembers what jasper told him. and he remembers his own determination to help lennon stay safe, even from himself.]
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[ Lennon frowns at him and he feels frustrated. He doesn't want Daeshim to hold anything back. ]
I know you'd never harm me. I trust you...why can't you trust me to know?
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[is he sick of hearing that yet? though lately they've learned how to better...well, not necessarily understand either other, but accept each other even when they don't.]
You don't know the answer to that. And there is more than one way to harm.
[he covered their room in thorns. the fae might be bothered by the thought of it now, but he obviously thought it was a fine idea at the time. (and just maybe he still isn't as bothered by it as he should be.)]
You are the person who is precious to me. You must treat yourself kinder.
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I do my best. Is that not good enough...?
[ Lennon swallows hard, his fangs biting into his bottom lip but he doesn't care. He feels fragile and he wants to be angry but he can't seem to muster anger up. ]
I'm not lying or unaware of what I say when I say I want all of you, Daeshim...
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he sits up, kneeling in front of the human and then reaching his hand out to cup his cheek.]
Tell me again. [his voice is quiet.] Tell me again that you're doing your best to take care of this person that I love. Tell me that you're not doing anything to him that would break my heart.
[whatever heart he has. maybe that's like souls, something reserved for humans. but daeshim knows that there's something in his chest, and it's been made even stronger here, with him.]
Say it and I'll believe you, and we'll never speak of it again.
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His lips tremble and he knows that he can answer without lying but that it's not really as clear cut as it looks. ]
I'm doing my best, Daeshim. I promise I'm doing my best.
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but he made a deal, so daeshim finally smiles at him.]
Okay. I believe you.
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He is trying his best every day. ]
Thank you.
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[his kind have a complicated relationship with those words, to say the least. daeshim has learned how to deal with it, he just doesn't understand why he should deserve lennon's gratitude in the first place.]
Lie back down with me.
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[ Lennon says, swallowing heavily and he still feels off-kilter and in the back of his mind he still remembers he needs to go feed Baein but more than anything he needs Daeshim right this moment. He nods and lays down, ready to be held close and enveloped with Daeshim again. ]
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[he doesn't completely understand, but he also doesn't need to. it's enough to know that lennon needed something from him and he was able to give it. he combs his fingers through his hair, knowing from experience how nice that always feels.]
I trust you too.
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Good.
[ Lennon murmurs and it means a lot to him -- to be trusted. To be loved, to be trusted... things he didn't think he was worthy of and things he never thought he would have. ]
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[daeshim doesn't ask him to promise this time, just trusts that lennon will.]
I also want all of you too.
[good, bad, perfect and imperfect. it's all a part of lennon. he giggles before he finishes.]
All of what was in those pictures for sure. You looked very charming!
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Mm.
[ Lennon will do his best with that too. Asking and accepting help is still hard for him but if he could with anyone it would be Daeshim.
There’s a harsh swallow at the return of those words and he wonders if it’s really true. Daeshim thinks it’s true but what if… he doesn’t dwell on it, his insecurities shoved to the back of his mind as the giggle relaxes him. ]
And they were almost not enough to pull you back into bed with me!
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[he let his head be filled with...ugly thoughts, insidious enough that the entered his words and actions. He made Lennon cry... daeshim whimpers when he remembers it, and tries to curl his body around him.]
I hate myself for making you sad.
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Don’t.
[ Lennon says firmly and presses closer, stealing kisses then and he reaches to pull one of the others hands to touch his bare thighs, still wearing those short shirts. ]
I’m okay. You’re okay.
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[it's strange how seeing lennon's legs in those shorts is almost more arousing than seeing him completely naked. ...but let's be honest, he hasn't needed much help getting aroused for a couple of days.
he keeps touching his leg, then touching the hem of the shorts, finally sliding his hand under one leg to find more skin.]
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He kisses him again, tongue brushing out against Daeshim's lips teasing him to deepen the kiss this time. ]